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Support for Parents of Send: Time to Talk

“Time to Talk” day is approaching on 6th February 2025, presenting a chance to open new conversations about anything that may impact our mental health. With that in mind, it feels like the ideal time to start a conversation about how SEND matters can impact us mentally.

When you first discover your child has SEND, (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities) it may feel daunting. Who can you speak to? Where should you go to find answers? How do you even know what questions to ask?

You are not alone in your journey. According to information service GOV.UK, “Around 1.4 million pupils in English schools have an identified special educational need.”

How Can I Navigate my SEND Journey?

Sad and helpless mother and child at home

Initially, just plan a few simple steps. One or two of the following is advisable:

See your GP. Your doctor will listen to your concerns and tell you about local groups. They may also suggest referring your child to a specialist, such as an occupational or speech therapist.

Talk to your child’s SEND Coordinator (SENDCO) in school. Try to make an appointment, rather than a rushed chat in the playground. Find out what the school can provide for your child. In addition, ask about support groups/people you could reach out to for advice.

SENDIASS offer free guidance with bases all over the country. They will advise you about your child’s diagnoses and answer your questions, particularly about aspects such as SEND law and the EHCP process.

Visit your local library; have a conversation about services in your area that might help you and your child.

Reflect on the information you have gathered. Think about who to approach next. What questions have arisen and who can help you answer them?

There are other ways to gather strength:

  • Social media groups will be a place to share and gain awareness.
  • Local Online Charities/groups will enable you to put out feelers to see what can help extend your support network.
  • Have a coffee and a chat with a trusted friend. Think about people in your life that you know will listen to you and support your journey.
  • Allow space for something uplifting. This could be yoga, spending time outdoors, or reading a book. Your self-care matters and will help you relax.

When talking to people in the SEND community about what helped them find their route after their child’s diagnosis, there were many suggestions.

Jemma, from Hertfordshire has two children, Jack and Hallie, who are moderately deaf. Jemma recalls, “My GP put me in touch with a specialist teacher; she told me about all the help available. I contacted the NDCS (National Deaf Children’s Society) who helped me fill out DLA (Disability Living Allowance) forms.

“I also discovered The Phoenix Group who arranged activities for the children during the school holidays and offered mental health support. They also taught sign language free of charge.  My specialist teacher visited me weekly and taught me how to communicate with the children and encourage them to wear their hearing aids. She supported them through nursery and ran a pre-school group called ‘Chics’, where I met other families.”

Following an initial diagnosis, parents may feel suddenly isolated in an unfamiliar world. Jemma’s conversation with her GP allowed her to connect with many sources of help and find other families where she could listen, talk, relate, and share.

Michelle, from Kent, struggled to help her child with ongoing maths difficulties: “Stella hated maths so much; I felt her stress daily. One day, a parent approached me in school; our daughters apparently were struggling together during maths lessons. We struck up a conversation about their difficulties; it helped me so much! We sometimes met for coffee or chatted on the phone. I recall us going shopping to find some maths resources. We eventually found games online for the children and used them on play dates.

“I remember a lot of the stress melting away and for the first time, I felt positive. Stella was happier; our view of maths changed from being a huge hurdle, into something more manageable. I also asked the teacher to modify Stella’s homework, which she did.”

Other parents of SEND children shared further approaches to accessing appropriate support:

Jo’s daughter has dyslexia. She was diagnosed at 7 years old. Jo commented, “As a parent, I was very supported by my daughter’s school. They understood her situation from the start of her journey and were able to offer excellent advice at each stage of her schooling.”

Eleanor, mum to Max who has autism remarked, “My library told me about an ASD/ADHD centre where parents and carers could talk freely with neurodivergent community members; it was inspiring.”

Poppy, who has a 10 year-old-son with PDA mentioned, “What I have found helpful in understanding the mechanism behind PDA and getting helpful strategies, has been to follow ‘At Peace Parents’ on Instagram and Facebook. It has completely changed my understanding of PDA and how I support my son.”

There are many roads available to SEND parents. Take your time and don’t expect too much from yourself. Every family’s experience is unique, so take things one step at a time, and remember, it’s okay to seek help when you need it. Begin your child’s educational journey with optimism; embrace the road with hope and confidence. You are a brilliant advocate for your child; believe in your strength as you find the right path.

Useful Websites:

Please note: The information provided within this blog, by SENsational Tutors, is for general information purposes only. We appreciate that every person is unique and any advice/experiences mentioned within the content of each blog may not be reflective of your own personal experience. All information on the site is provided in good faith and is for educational informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice. Before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with appropriate professionals.”

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