Communication is our lifeline; it allows us to create friendships, convey our feelings and learn about our world.
We cannot be sure how many people in the UK are non-verbal, but we do know that approximately 14 million people might face difficulties communicating at certain points during their lifetime, and more than 10% of our children could face lasting issues with their ability to communicate.
Who Might Be Non-Verbal?
The Noala website suggests that if a child is not speaking by the time they are four years of age, we can consider them as being non-verbal.
Children who experience this could have autism, a brain injury or cerebral palsy. They may have SPCD or dyspraxia, or selective mutism due to a past trauma or anxiety. Whatever the reason, the reality is that everyone needs to communicate.
Approximately 25–30% of our autistic children in the UK will be non-verbal or display a limited verbal capacity. This branch of ASD is commonly referred to as nonverbal autism. These children will have no words, or a few words that display an irregularity in their pronunciation due to their use of the alternative sounds they use to express themselves.
British Sign Language practitioners offer a route for the non-verbal community to experience a conversation where they can be fully understood. A total of 25,000 people in the UK rely on British Sign Language as their main means of communication.
Communicating Without Words
It may be assumed that speaking is the only way to communicate, but there are so many other to ways to connect. There are signals, such as pointing, clapping or blinking. We could use hand gestures, noises or facial expressions such as a grimace, a smile, a laugh or a frown. Crying often conveys distress, but other sounds such as squeaks or sudden high-pitched yells can be a sign of joy, frustration or confusion, depending on the context and facial expression that accompanies it.
The term “body language” is a regular part of our vocabulary, but to what are we referring when we use this term?
People without speech will express themselves in a multitude of different ways. Body language relates to the way we carry ourselves, and the movements that we make, and how these actions communicate messages to other people.
If someone was walking rhythmically down the street, swinging their arms with a smile on their face, what message would you receive? Alternatively, if someone was on the other side of the street, stationary, with wide eyes, looking at their phone, sighing and frowning, what message would we receive then?
The verbal community will use body language automatically to accompany their speech. Our non-verbal community will also use body language as well as other means to express their needs. What are they asking us? What are they telling us? What story are they telling with their eye movements, gaze, smile, frown, arm and leg movements, gestures or tears. What do they want us to know?
Just because someone may not speak, or may use sounds with an unfamiliar syntax, does this mean that we cannot communicate with them?
If some of us look further, we can discover that non-verbal children can say so much, without uttering a single word.
Who Defines How We Communicate & What Do Non-Verbal Children Need?
As we nurture our babies and give them the skills to function as toddlers, children, teens and then young adults, the one running theme remains: Is he talking? What was her first word? Can he tell you numbers, shapes, colours, days, months? Can she read? Can she tell the time yet? Say please, thank you, speak nicely, don’t talk with your mouth full.
As non-verbal children may flap, blink, shriek, point, laugh or cry, they are also learning to interact with the world. But how does the verbal community receive this type of communication, and how do they interpret it?
Liz Marquez, who has worked as a TA/LSA with non-verbal children in North-West London for 17 years, affirms that our children need to be guided with cues that are echoed over and again. “Non-verbal learners are auditory and visual; they need prompting as well as repetition.”
Liz continues, stating that adults should not underestimate the importance of encouraging children without words to continually communicate in their own way. She explains that as educators we too must “gesture, point at what needs to be done or what needs to happen next, and make our expectations clear.”
As our children consistently receive this direction from their trusted adults, Liz explains that this “ultimately works for learners and equally works for practitioners.” With the regularity of a continual pattern of interaction between child and adult, communication will thrive back and forth, and our children will be understood.
It is imperative not to underestimate the use of visuals to accompany the communication process. Liz concludes that any non-verbal children require something tangible, “They need a visual timetable and a lanyard that ultimately works alongside their means of expression, whatever that may be. Keep repeating and reinforcing, and it will work for them.”
What Would A Non-Verbal Child Say & How Could We Respond?
How does it feel to be ghosted, to be randomly dismissed by someone? The door suddenly closes, and although there might be a reason, you may have no idea why you have been ignored.
We tell our children it is rude to ignore their peers. When a child flaps or points, hums or stims, taps or claps, they are conversing in their language. If we ignore that, are we being rude; are we ghosting them? Of course we are not, but we may want rethink about how it feels if we don’t respond.
The shrieks, rocks, shrugs and yells all have meaning. How we respond is a choice. Should we re-examine how we react? Are we positive? Do we acknowledge by smiling or gesturing? Do we make eye contact and ensure our body language signals that we are open to interact?
You may have uncertainties about the response you should make. How can you read your child’s pattern of communication?
There are many online platforms dedicated to parents and carers of children that use alternative communication methods. Facebook runs a variety of pages to support families, allowing people to share their ideas, thoughts and seek solutions.
How Does A Non-Verbal Child Feel When They Are Understood?
Agnela is mum to Rebecca who is 14, autistic and non-verbal. Angela and her husband’s relationship with their daughter is inspiring and built from a foundation of positive interaction. They have built their communication with Rebecca by forming an awareness of how she communicates, and then responding accordingly. She explains, “Rebecca communicates with us in so many ways. We know when she is happy, sad, upset or angry. She tells us with noises, her behaviour and arm movements.
“She is so cheeky. She sometimes closes her eyes, pretending to be asleep. Then she grins. That is her way of telling us that she doesn’t want to do something.”
Non-verbal children have a voice. Just because we can’t hear it, doesn’t mean they are not speaking to us. Not only that, but they additionally have thoughts, reactions, feelings, motivations, aspirations, hopes and dreams, just like the rest of us.
If we seek to understand what a non-verbal child is telling us, then we can respond. Even if we are not sure what they are communicating, ignoring their means of interaction delivers a non-verbal message of negativity as we fail to connect. How we respond is up to us, but how we respond will most definitely impact how someone feels.
